Today is the day..

So today is the day I meet and get to know my Inner Child. I am very nervous about this, but I feel as if this could be a real help to both myself and to others who have experienced some of the devastating treatment that I had to endure. I realize that there are many people who have had to and still do endure the scars of incest.

I'm anticipating that the veil of sadness I've carried around with me for over 35 years will begin to lift and reveal the true soul underneath. I want to become someone who can walk with more joy in the world.

So I shall push through ............ ......... for I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it feels as if I can't quite see it for it may only be the size of a pin point and then I have a breakthrough and it becomes brighter, for me it showed itself in the form of gratitude. I am seeing more clearly. Nature has been my ally in my feeling better. Planting flowers and working on my deck, paying attention & caring for the plants has really helped me to see that I'm ok...........my friends have been a huge help too (I did have to reach out, and that is the hardest thing for us to do I believe) we are so super vigilent in our perception of people, always looking for a crack in someone that will prove to us that there aren't people that can be trusted (well that's how it manifested for me) but you have to have some trust that it will be all right.

Today I found the first drawing and dialogue from an initial session I had with Mary. I had almost forgotten about it as it was nearly a year ago. I was scared of what memories it would uncover and at the time realized that I didn't quite feel ready to follow through. I didn't know if I could handle it. Mary reminded me that the Inner Child will let us know when they are ready to talk. Here is that first picture of that little girl that I drew last year. In the picture is a background, with hills the creek running through it. It looks like where I live right now. I realized that I used to always draw this picture of hills and trees and water running through the hills/mountains, with the sun shining brightly when I was a child. My inner child drew the same picture.

I've done years of traditional therapy which has been somewhat helpful but there is a peace that I am needing in my life now. I feel that peace is waiting for me and I know that by doing this work with Mary, for me anyhow, is going to be hugely beneficial to the way I feel about myself. I’m glad to know that there are many healers and good souls out there that can be of assistance to us. It is up to us to take that leap of faith and go out there and find them knowing that we can heal ourselves and go on to have happy, productive lives. We deserve and are meant to have that you know... Sending you safe hugs and love…