Love letter to my Inner Child 4th session

Prior to the session Mary had me do some centering breath which helped me align myself and get present to the task at hand. This excercise was done with my dominant hand and it was two letters to my inner child from my inner adult. The first was a love letter and the second a letter of apology.

Here is the love letter to my Inner Child:

Dear Inner Child,

I wanted you to know how much I love you because you have such an open heart and an infectious laugh. I love the way you hang from the monkey bars with such confidence, swinging. That seeing things upside down makes you chuckle. That you are a good friend to your friends. I love that you want so badly to be happy. I see you.
I think you are an angel from God, with a really fabulous sense of humor.

All my love forever,
Your adoring and proud parent,
Paula
After writing this I did an image of my nurturing parent and my inner child.

After writing the love letter Mary asked me to read it aloud. As I read this I could picture myself as a child at different ages and felt as if my inner child was listening and looking at me. It was as though she was checking in to see if I was being honest while I was reading it to her. Afterwards Mary also read it to me and it felt really good to be acknowledged for the qualities I know I have. The excercise was more of a testament to my inner child from me as an adult. It was like my inner child was being validated by my adult self. Now I see that instead of looking outside of myself for validation I am able to give that to myself. The shift in my everyday reality is I am now investigating the possibility that perhaps I can begin putting myself first. This is a bit uncomfortable and I am grappling as I incorporate this new behavior. The letter of apology was easy to write as I felt that my inner child deserved the apology from an adult. When I was growing up the adults were not paying attention with the exception of my Nan and now I need to pay attention which is the hardest thing. Now I need to become vigilant about putting myself first. This is going to take practice, after all its been 41 years of doing things another way. I don't blame anyone for all the work that was put on me at such a young age (I was responsible for an entire household by 6 caring for babies and a mother) but now I can choose differently and now it is my responsibility to show up for myself. No more blame.

Thankfully I have Mary always cheering me on and who believes in me and encourages me to believe in myself.

Click on image to read the letter of apology